Tuesday evening it was, four days after sitting beside her, talking about our dreams, planning upcoming birthdays for her children, the dreaded call came….she was no more. She knew the diagnosis, she read about how deadly the outcome could be…..but there she was…calmly taking it all in, her quiet demeanour never giving way to the ravaged pain her body was going through. She suppressed a cough, as we chatted about almost anything. She took it all in, simply and graciously. She never lost her composure, neither did she lose her smile….none of us could have guessed that at that point the cancer had been to just about any part of her systems. She was scheduled for MRI, CT Scan and blood works….so the management plan could be determined. When the biopsy results 3 days earlier indicated she may be suffering from a rare form of cancer, all she wanted was to get better. She did not squirm, she was hopeful and optimistic.
So, when the call came, that she was gone, it was painful! To think that I sat with her four days earlier, by her dining taking, chatting and hoping and even sharing a joke or two…that…that was a final farewell!!!!!! Unbelievable!!!!
Calmly and gracefully, she went away from us. The last wapp message was: “Am much better……just a little tired….”
The last chat did little to signal what was to follow….a call dreaded call. Tragic as this may sound, I learned once more that whispers can be loud. When a loved one is about to make the final journey, there are nuanced signs. They could be in form of a spoken word, or a reminder to complete a task or unusual calmness….the universe whispers and hints….
Today, we will be putting her to rest….I will take comfort in the knowledge that she gave me chance to have a wonderful last chat….my memory of her is untainted: Beautiful, calm, optimistic, stylish and ever smiling. Not even cancer could change that about her!
Iam thankful for her life and the last chat, but “Am jealous of the angels around the throne tonight….”